Mary lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with her crooner husband Tom and their celebrity dog, Sammy.
"I did everything wrong."
When my 85-year-old mother started showing signs of dementia, I refused to see it.
When she became forgetful, I was impatient.
When she made mistakes, I was critical.
When she was confused, I was irritated.
I argued, I nagged, I quizzed, I corrected...and I made things worse.
It wasn't because I didn't love Mom. I did, very much. We had a wonderfully close relationship.
It wasn't because she was being stubborn or ornery or ugly. She wasn't. She had always been sweet and loving, and still was.
It wasn't because I didn't care. I did.
No. It was because I didn't understand.
I didn't understand what was happening to her.
I didn't understand that she had dementia.
And I didn't understand what dementia was all about.
So I kept doing all the wrong things...even though I did them for all the right reasons.
Once I got it,
Once I learned what could change,
Things went much better for us.
A nationally recognized voice in dementia care.
That experience became the foundation for everything I do now. Over the years, I've worked with families, support groups, professional staff, and community organizations to help them understand what's really happening in dementia and how small changes can make life better for everyone involved.
I speak, consult, and write about dementia care, sharing practical guidance and strategies grounded in real-world experience. I don't overwhelm people with medical jargon or complicated systems. Instead, I focus on understanding the person behind the diagnosis, helping caregivers and professionals see the situation more clearly, and creating those "lightbulb moments" that change how people approach care.
Because understanding changes everything.
Roles & Affiliations
- • Trainer & Mentor, Teepa Snow Positive Approach to Care
- • Founder, MemoryCaregivers Network
- • Steering Committee, Dementia Friendly WNC
- • Author, The MemoryCaregivers Collection (2025)