When my 87-year-old mother started showing signs of dementia, I refused to see it.

When she became forgetful, I was impatient.
When she made mistakes, I was critical.
When she was confused, I was insistent.

I argued, I nagged, I quizzed, I corrected…and I made things worse.

It wasn’t because I didn’t love Mom – I did, very much. We had a wonderfully close relationship.

It wasn’t because she was being stubborn or ornery or ugly. She wasn’t. She had always been sweet and loving, and still was.

It wasn’t because I didn’t care. I did.

No – it was because I didn’t understand.
I didn’t understand what was happening to her.
I didn’t understand that she had dementia.
And I didn’t understand what dementia was all about.

Once I got it,
Once I learned what could change,
Once the lightbulbs started going off in my head,
Things went much better for us.

So that’s what I do now. I help other caregivers, family members, and staff to have those lightbulb moments. I help them learn that there IS a better way to live with dementia.

I help them to understand.